Saturday, 3 February 2007
♥ Ever felt pathetic?
That's right. Have you felt pathetic?
Ok, before I say anything more...
these are my personal thoughts, no one really has to react to it.
that's quoting grace loke. haha. (:
anyway, back to the topic at hand. I'm really pathetic. Yup. Of all the things I pride myself on in this world, my relationship with God is the one I cherish the most.
Christianity. Religion. Worshipping God.
I really really have to say that God rocks. Completely.
And I suck. Completely.
In a relationship (a proper one anyway), both parties desire each others company yea. Furthermore, in a relationship between God and man, it would make sense that Man would be the one who seeks God, right?
Wrong.
Well, not in my case at least. I find myself easily distracted by earthly stuff, computer games, friends, and tv. Not to say that these things are bad, but when they start to appeal more to me than qt, there is something seriously wrong. Even when I know these things are already sucking me dry, and I feel like the s word, I don't really turn to God.
I know God's saying, "come here joash. Into my arms. I love you." And well.. I tell myself I'll do my qt later. but in the end.. i'm so tired by the end of the day that i don't even have sufficient energy to spend time with God. Dumb right?
And guess what happens?
God draws me back to himself. I mean.. He calls out to me. He sends me messages. He draws my heart back to himself, and when I finally turn back to Him, He takes me back into His arms and embraces me. Wow. like HELLO JOASH. HE'S GOD. How do I put this. argh.
Well, I really really thank God for his faithfulness and his love to an unworty piece of s-word like me. And He says that He loves me, and i'm not a piece of s-word. I can hear him now. i'm starting to tear now.
Pathetic isn't it? I can't even keep my heart focused on him, although i know that there is no better place to be in the whole world. Do you know a word that describes me?
No?
Well, I know one. It's called...
Prostitute.
See, in the bible, we are the bride, and Christ is the bridegroom. And in a marriage, there should be faithfulness. And God, being God, is faithful, and loving, and kind beyond imagination. And me? I'm like a prostitute that sleeps with anyting that comes my way, and I am unfaithful. Yet, God's faithful.
Question: How many of you would faithfully and lovingly take your wife back into your arms after you found out she has been unfaithful to you?
If you're of those loving and faithful husbands..
Here's another question: Would you do it again and again? For the fifth time? For the hundredth time? For the thousandth time? Would you do it again and again?
Yeah, me neither.
Can you imagine how deep God's love is? I can't. I bet I haven't even imagined the tip of the iceberg.
Pathetic. I'm so pathetic.
But I'm gonna stop this self-pity, because God picked me up from the ashes and called me his child. He said I am precious to him, and that He'll love me no matter what.
Wow.
My God rocks.
[ok, i know this is going to sound very gay... but.]
God <3
=)
"So I'll stand...
With arms high and heart abandoned..
In awe of the one who gave it all...
So I'll stand...
My soul, Lord, to You surrendered..
All I am is Yours...
So what could I say...
and what could I do...
But offer this heart O God...
Completely to You..."
{/2:25 am}
<3, me
